You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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