All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
