Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
