I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
