I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
