Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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