You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
