Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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