end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
