I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
