Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize