Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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