Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
