you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
