one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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