I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
