sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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