Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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