Got a toothbrush?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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