Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
