Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
