the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
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I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
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Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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