it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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