i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
How's work?
Spinning.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
