goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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