i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
