i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
