i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this just has baby written all over it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
