she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
