Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
