yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
