She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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