I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
