come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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