Rock
Scissors
Fuck
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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