I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
