I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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