I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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