Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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