i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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