i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
where are my eyebrows?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
