I can't watch pbs sober anymore
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
