you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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