honey bunches of taint.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
