Say something about gay babies.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My breasts were aching with rage.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
