Whod you bang
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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