You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
