I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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