You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
