Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
