He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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