i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize