You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
