Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize