mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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