i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
