Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
