He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
