He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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