And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
