OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
