So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize