Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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