you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
