That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
