I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize