And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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