worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
