Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
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Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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