I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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