When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
